Dear Shirley and Steve, my husband and I have been together for 18 years and married for 12 years. For the last eight and a half years we have not slept in the same bedroom. He has given me multiple reasons as to why he doesn't want to. Reasons he has given me are: Our bed was too small - so I got a bigger bed; I snore too loud and he also has told me that if he slept in the same bed with me he would want to have sex with me every night, all night. These are the reasons he gave me years ago. I used to ask him to come back to our bedroom and he would say yes but it never happen. I told him that I don't like it when he only comes to the room to have sex and once it's over he heads to the other room. I have denied him sex but it only makes our relationship worse and he gets very angry. I have set up romantic nights for us. Once the romance is over, guess what? He goes to the other room. I don't get a kiss goodnight and I can forget about him even holding me the rest of the night. I can't tell you the last time he has actually held me in bed. I have told him it's hard for me to want have sex with him when I know that's all you are coming in the room for. He doesn't understand my feelings. Our youngest daughter has never seen us sleep in the same room. I know it's embarrassing for our older daughter when she has friends over and they see her dad sleeping in another room. When we go on trips together he sleeps in the other room or the other bed. I am sad to say, Shirley and Steve, but I have gotten used to sleeping in separate rooms. I know it's not something I should be use to but I can't get him back in the room. If he comes back, I know I will get used to having him next to me. I just don't know what else to do.
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