Steve, I beg you to read this letter. I am in my mid-30s and so is my wife. We met in the military. I was 22 and she was 21 at the time. After we got married I found out some things ... She told me that she had been with 30-40 guys, almost all of these guys had been in the one year before we met. She said she did it because she could and she was just being young. I also found out that when we first started dating that she was with 2 guys that I knew. I was out of town for 3 days and she slept with 2 men. She confessed to it and said that she was just scared of being with one person for the rest of her life. Most summers she and my kids spend up to 2 months at her parents' house, they live out of state and she wanted to go home so I went along with it, being a nice guy. While she is there she goes to these concerts that last for 3 nights and 4 days, sleeping in tents, we have argued about this before, she admitted that one of the girls she was with had felt-up guys while they were dancing, she says they dance and flirt, then go back to their tent, but nothing more. Fast forward, I have a good job and treat my wife very well; she has been a stay-at-home-mom for the last 12 years. She recently went back to school now and has these single friends that go clubbing once or twice a month. She wants to hang out with them, at first I said she could go, I didn't like it, but I didn't want the type of marriage where I tell my wife what she can and can't do. The problem that we have now is this - She recently said she was going to dinner to celebrate the end of the semester, I had no problem with it, she then texted me and said she was planning to go to a club with a few girls, the next morning I see a text message from a guy in her class saying that "last night was so much fun", I asked her about this and she said that 4 girls and 4 guys decided to go to the club and just hang out. I don't think married people should be clubbing, but I didn't get to hot about it. Then about 3 months ago she went out, she said she would be home by 11 or 11:30. I called and texted her around midnight, no answer. She came how at 2:45, we argued and she admitted that she left her phone in her car intentionally because she didn't want to be bothered by me and she was scared that I would tell her to come home. I flipped the hell out, later we talked about, she apologized and we moved on. Since then about once a month she asks if she can go out clubbing with these same friends and I say hell no. My stance is that if you want to act single you should be single, so if you want to go clubbing until 2 or 3 in the morning you can leave this marriage. She gets so upset when I say no that she will actually cry and be quiet for a few days ... My concern is that I wonder if I am over reacting. Can a woman like this ever be trusted?
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