Steve and family I hope you can help me. I am 51 years old, a successful, beautiful, Christian woman who became a widow five years ago. I've been told I look like I'm in my early thirties. I've been dating a wonderful Christian man for a little over two years. He is 65 and he too looks good and young for his age. Because of our Christian values we have been celibate (not easy to do). He is an amazing man as far as the old fashion values -- chivalry, etc. However, there seems to be a pattern in his life. He has been divorced for 25 years (awful divorce due to his wife's infidelity). Since his divorce he was engaged once, had a few steady relationships but he ended EVERY relationship after two years. Low and behold, we are over the two year mark and although he led me to believe that he too wanted marriage, he now tells me he doesn't think he wants to be married. Well Steve, you will be happy to hear that with my heart in my hand I walked out of his life. He has reached out to me on several occasions and recently tried to tell me that the reason he has not tried to fix our relationship is because of my dysfunctional family. My dad has a drinking problem, was a real player back in the day but is a wonderful dad to me, my brother is a hustler and has spent most of his adult life in jail. He tells me that when you get married to someone you also marry their family. I told him that he's lying to himself and that the issue isn't my family (which he would only see 2-3x year) but the fact that he's afraid to get married, which he admitted to me several months ago, that he was somewhat fearful. As I said, this guy is great but he can be judgmental (as apparent from what he said about my family) and he definitely seems to have a fear of marriage. Two questions: 1) at our age do you think "family" is such a deal breaker in a relationship and 2) he has started going to counseling, which is great, but should I give up on him and move on? Signed "Ready to be married".
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