Dear Steve and Shirley, my man is not in any of Steves books and he is unlike any man I have ever known. I am a 58 year old, divorced, black, frustrated female. He is 48 years old, decent, hardworking and very honest. He does not trust women at all. His ex cheated on him real bad several times. When we started dating, it seemed good. We discussed our values and we both required trust and honesty. We waited 90 days to have sex and even slept in the same bed and fought temptation. We finally had a big WOW for both of us, but after the fifth time or so, he started changing and the romance stopped dead. Now he sleeps on the couch when he stays over and says he cant allow himself to fall for another woman because he doesnt want to get hurt. We havent had sex in a while. He says he only wants a friendship and even asked me if I would rather be good friends for life, instead of have a romance go bad, and then we cant stand each other? He said this time he wants to try a different approach. He wants to first fall in love, then have sex. Well then, why hit 3 home runs and then close the park? I am miserable. We spend a lot of time together - concerts, dinner, games, movies, he calls every day, comes over 2 or 3 times a week. We have fun, but no romance. He also is insanely jealous. WHY? We are just friends! He accused me of marking my territory with him when we are out, but one night he stood in the club with the palm of his hand on my butt and kissed me in front of everyone. What the heck? He is sending mixed messages. Do you think I should move on, or wait for him to admit this is a relationship and we go from there? I need some affection!

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