Good morning to the greatest radio show in the land. I am not going to paint a rosie picture of myself. I have had a wonderful woman in my life for 10 years and I am truly head over heels in love with her. I on the other hand have been a complete dog to this woman. I deserve all of the following that I am about to describe. The thing is that her and I broke up for about a year and a half during that time she connected with an old platonic friend who I understand as a man does was waiting in the wings for his shot at the cookies. He wined and dined her for a couple of months and the short version of the story was able to get the cookies. She fell for him but we decided to fix our issues as she realized that him and her had no future and that all he really wanted was some sex. Here is where it gets sticky... Her and I have two kids together and I have an older outside child. I decided to work things out in order to keep the family together but I can't get over her sleeping with another man even though her and I was not together. I don't want to touch her at all and I force myself to have sex with her most of the time. She hurt me bad and all I see is her with another man sexually and it literally disgust me. I am a different man than I was in the past and at 38 I have matured to the point where I am ready to be a great father and faithful loving husband and get my Steve Harvey on. LOL! I can't get past what she did even though we were not together. She has forgiven me so many times I feel as if I should forgive her. I just can't seem to be able to do it. She is really a wonderful woman but she chose to make that mistake. All I can see is another man enjoying my baby and that man to man Steve is the worst pain that I have ever felt because I truly love this woman with all of my heart but my intimate desire for her is dead. She is tarnished now and has lost all of her integrity in my eyes. Shirley she chose to give up the cookies so that lonely, hurt venerable role is out of the window because you don't have to have sex to get to know somebody and she gave it up for nothing. They had no commitment other than sex. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman as my wife but it won't happen unless I can forgive my good girl gone bad. Am I wrong?
Dear Shirley and Steve,
I am 45 and my husband is 46. We have been married for almost 18 years and have 4 children (teenage boys 15 and 13 and twin girls age 6). Sex between us was really good and often. My husband wanted sex ANY time he saw me. I thought it was borderline neurotic, but my ego (and he) made me believe that it was all about me! For a few years it was everyday, but eventually I got bored with it and kids came along and life required that I do other things. This became a point of contention for us. I tried to accommodate him as best as I could but eventually he started cheating on me and for the most part, I forgave him. We remained together and then had our twins, but from that point forward, sex was something I did because I had to or when I felt the urge to, but never when he wanted it and mostly with an attitude. Recently, I found out that he was having sexually explicit conversations with women on facebook and exchanging naked pictures of himself. Even some people who were "friends" with me. I never expected that part, but here we are. In the past few months he has been having a lot of difficulty paying his portion of the bills but when I asked him about it he couldn't explain where his money was going. Then one weekend after he missed the payment for our kids karate and dance classes we had a big argument and he blurted out that he had been paying for sex. I was floored. He blamed me for not satisfying him like a wife is supposed to and stormed out of the house. Under normal circumstances, this would be it. But here is where I am confused. In the past few years I have become spiritual and a practicing Christian. I know I took vows to be with this man, but that was before God and church and Christianity was really a part of my life. I love church and I love God in a way that I never did before and I want to do what is "expected" of me, but I can't believe that God wants me to stay with this man who has done this to our relationship with my help, I guess. Anyway, I know I have to forgive him, but I don't think I can ever sleep with this man again. Do I have to stay and try to work this out? I'm at my wits end. He barely even acknowledged what he has done and still tries to sleep with me every night! I'm hurt and insulted but I want to do what is right in a faithful way. Please help.
Hi steve and Shirly i am a 21 Y/O female with 2 children and also married, who lives in a good neighbor-hood, but it is this one neighbor that cateches my eye he's is really attractive with nice eyes and about my age but im married and love my husband i find him no more than a neighbor but what i noticed is, hes more like a "watcher", first it started out slowly he would watch me each day i went to work each morning just sitting out in a lawn chair drinking a beer but would never say anything i wave frequently to soften the tension. soon after those stages of this one day i was just getting home for work and i was tired and i had just picked up my kids from day care when i walked into my home everything was fine until i heard noises in my back room knowing it wsnt my husband becasue he gets off usually around 10 so i know it was something wrong. i went into my room and i saw someone legs flop out my window and guess who it was! YES! it was him now i didnt call the police but i did not see anything that he may have taken but one EXCEPT my Victoria Secret Thong I had in my draw. NOW i know this man has a thing for me. whne my husband had finally came home i explained to him my underware were missing from my draw and also i saw him falling out my window. but he insisted it was a bird or whatever but I am still concerned. he really didnt even listen to me. so i left it alone. a few weeks later he stop sitting outside in the lawn chair and i didnt see him as much, but today I came home and I was undressing from work i was tired so i undressed myself and got ready to take a shower and my window curtains were put up so my window was all open and I had saw out the corner of my eye and he was watching me mean i was naked fully down to the crack. I quickly grabbed myself and wrapped whatever their was laying near around me and ran to the bathroom a few minutes later he knocks on my door and i dont know why i let him in we talked and he said if i didnt let him "F" me thier was going to be consequences he threaten me so visciously but i know my husband would not beleieve me since they knew each other pretty well, Steve i think this is getting a little to dangerous im alredy a cautious peson should i call the police or should i try to talk to my husband about it. im getting very uncomfortable.
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