Dear Shirley/Steve: I have been married for 14 years and during these years, it has not been roses especially on my part. For a number of these years, I had an affair and had a child by this man. Me and my husband discussed our options and we decided to work on the marriage, he accepted my child as his own and it should be over and done with right ... WRONG. The man I had the affair with became very upset that I did not put his name on the birth certificate. He then talked to his wife about the child which I asked him not to do and then after those months of hell, he did the ultimate no-no. He asked me to leave my husband and I told him no again because I decided I had made so many mistakes that if my husband was man enough to forgive me, I should be woman enough to work on the marriage also. To make matters worse, he left his wife/daughter for another woman saying it's my fault that he is with the woman he is with now. He had no choice because I became all "Christian-like." Shirley/Steve, all I asked of him was to see his child at least twice a month and I have never asked for child support. After many months of no contact, he started contacting and telling me that he has changed and wants another chance. I feel guilt for telling him no because I do want him in my child's life but he eventually started the same old lines/games. Lastly, to make matters worse his mistress started harassing me. Have I made the right decision?
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