Dear Steve/Shirley: I am having a difficult time trying to figure out what to do about a situation that could turn out bad either way it goes especially since a baby is involved in the situation. But before i go ... I must admit that at first it started off as a lie because I told the young lady that I was a certain age when actually I wasn't the age I told her. I was 10 years older than her. She was 23 and I was 33. Even though we weren't girlfriend or boyfriend at the time that it happened, we considered each other friends. However, as a man I knew the right thing to do was admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness from God first then from both her and her family in which I did and they forgave me but it took some time to do it. We stopped talking for almost a year and a half until we ran across each other again and begin to talk as friends until her ex came back in the picture. We managed to keep our friendship in tact until we crossed over the hump and began having sex with each other. Eventually, she ended up getting pregnant from her ex. The day I found out I was devastated because I never cheated on her. But I'm not the type to just walk away and leave her to hang out there alone on her own with no help, so I chose to step up and be there for her in spite of her and my shortcomings. Eventually, we started a relationship with each other even though I knew the baby wasn't mine. I could have walked away just like the baby's father did but I didn't. I chose to stay there and help raise our son. Even though he isn't my biological son, I love him and treat him as if he is my biological son. His biological father has never done anything for him since he was born. He is seven months now and he doesn't even know his name nor bought any diapers but he can afford to buy his brother a new car. Well, eventually she had to move back home to Tampa, FL with her mother and her siblings while I was still back in Orlando FL. So know it has turned into a long distance relationship. She isn't working nor has she worked since the time she moved back home to Tampa. In the meantime, I was paying her bills, my bills and making sure she had money for herself. The relationship was good. She was happy, I was happy and our newborn baby boy was happy but on the flip side I knew she was kind of depressed because she was home living with her mother with no job and no income of her own coming in and a baby daddy that doesn't want anything to do with his son. So it was a stressful time for her but now the problems began when her bills were getting paid late by me. All she asked me to do was communicate and let her know what is/was going on and I didn't do it effectively. So at the time I began to feel like a failure in her eyes and especially in my eyes because I didn't know how to tell the woman you love and promise to be there for her that I didn't have the money to pay the bills at the time so I chose to retreat to gather by bearings again. I didn't call or visit her for almost one month but I would text her to see how she and our son was doing. That was the end of the relationship. I know I went about it the wrong way by letting my pride get the best of me to ask for help which caused our relationship to end. I still love her and want to be with her. As far as our little baby boy is concerned. I am still his father/daddy because I don't want her son to grow up and not know how it feels not to have a father/daddy. But it hurts me so bad when I see him and I still want to be with her as a family. I think she still wants to be in the relationship because we discussed marriage at one point and she said if I asked her she would have said yes two months ago. Please help me and tell me what I should do because I'm torn between leaving for good and staying to keep my word and help raise our son.
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