Dear Steve and Shirley, I would like to get your input on this immature situation! I am in my mid 30's and I had a casual relationship with a man for five years who is in his early 40's. Well, I got pregnant and I told him about it. Well, the is where the problem sets in. He wanted me to have an abortion but he kept asking what options have you come up with. I said I don't know but I think I want to keep it. I only have one child and he is a teenager so I just could not destroy a life that did not ask to be here. Well, he never wanted to sit down and discuss the issue so the next thing I know he said "Well, I am getting ready to start talking to someone else and she is willing to accept me with the baby." So this third party as he calls her, is thirsty to speak with me and she tells me he told her all about the baby and she figured that she would go with it anyway because it was before her. Mind you I was eight weeks pregnant. Well, I walked away from the situation, spoke with lawyers and was told that I was not obligated to tell him anything about the baby until I was ready to go for custody, visitation and child support. I have had the baby and I broke down and told him about the baby and he gets upset. He becomes verbally abusive and says he has doubts the baby is his because he was not informed of the birth but he knew the estimated delivery date. He constantly contradicts himself by saying he wants joint custody and he wants the baby to have his last name. I was like "Oh, you do all this for a baby that you have doubts about?" Here we go again the third party comes in again with her thoughts. The women is being childish and she is in her mid-40's calling me names like jump off, and telling people he has doubts about the baby. She wants me to know they are planning a wedding and that his boy introduced them. I guess in her mind that makes him want her better than me because he left me pregnant. I guess all the lies he tells her is easy for her to believe because she wants him so bad! Mind you, before I stopped communication with him he wanted to talk about a relationship, he wanted me to be the other women, and he did not wanted me to go off on him. I told him later for that mess you said it was over. Then let it be over I am not going to compete for second best for any man. He told me in the beginning he did not know where this thing with them was going. Wow! Am I supposed to be the fool and wait around for him to decide?! I had a conversation with him and I told him that it is OK that we don't have to be together but you are going to respect me. I told him our conversations will only be about the baby because when I do talk to him his "friend", as he calls her, thinks I am calling to try and get him back! I told him that I am not going to put up with that and he is like, "Well, I don't care if the two of you don't like each other as long as we are cool and if she runs her mouth do what you have to do!" The point I want to ask is, did I do the right thing by walking away?
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